Rainbows in the pensieve

Three things:
1. Pale pink peonies are angels in flowers.
2. Candy tastes best right before lunch when you've been resisting the urge to eat it for several hours.(Lunch was still good too. So ha.)
3. Clothes shopping for people who aren't expecting it is a beautiful thing.

I've been  thinking so many things these days; I had to get a few out of the way before I could begin.

If emotions were multicolored clouds, I would have a sky full of rainbows. And I don't understand rainbows, not like the scientists do.
I don't know what God was thinking to unleash women on the world. Or I should say, I don't know what God was thinking to unleash me on the world. Not in a bad way; I know I'm supposed to be here.  but I can't imagine Him thinking this all through and knowing how confused I would be for what seems to be most of my existence. Good thing women can still love and live and make the world beautiful while being confused.
I just thought of what this blog is! It's a pensieve, to hold my extra thoughts while I ponder them one at a time. So please be patient while I jump from one thing to another.

I've been working on my story. I reworked some things, and am ready to send it in to another agent. Somehow I'm not scared anymore. I do love this story. If you want to read it, and haven't yet, leave a comment below and I'll send you it via email. Or if you have it and want the latest version, say so.

This scene with the priest was giving me trouble:

     “It’s all right, dear. You can tell me,” Windson said, crinkling his eyes so his bushy white eyebrows protruded over them.

     “I don’t understand what this place is,” I said.

     “It’s different than everything, isn’t it?” Windson asked. 

And I was feeling desperate. Why couldn't I have William Strunk as my English professor?! I wanted someone to tell me what to do with the monologue that follows that little scene with Father Windson. So I thought about it for barely a minute and I knew how to fix it.
Shocked myself, too. (you'll have to read it to find out what I did; it's nothing earth shattering)
I didn't know I had the answer in my head. I wonder what else is in there?

So, back to the multicolored clouds.
What else is in there besides confusion? I'm nearly convinced the confusion opens me to find such answers. Nearly. Who knows what else swirls around, waiting to be found?
So far, there's been poetry and stories and much amusement. The souls of several friends, especially ones who might leave soon. Many songs.
Oh.
I think it's my heart.

Excuse me. I don't understand what this place is, heart. Why is everything moving so much?

I'm not, says heart. I don't move. Those things aren't holding me, and so I don't move with them.

Oh.

The confusion is like a mist, moving through, but it doesn't hold you up, says heart.

Then what does?

Who holds me holds you, says heart.

Who holds you?

Who did you give me to? asks heart.

The One, the Fire, the Light of Life.

That doesn't move, says heart. And so you won't.

My heart is a lot wiser than I am. I think it's been learning all the lessons while I've been stumbling around, trying to see. God, help me see with my heart, for that is how you show yourself(and my eyes were made for nothing better).