Saving the Sanctuary

I’ve been reading Practicing His Presence, a compilation of the writings of Frank Laubach and Brother Lawrence. Their thoughts are wildly encouraging and frightening at the same time. I want that constant “Christ liveth in me,” but I’m afraid to give up what needs to be given up so He can fit. It’s rocking my foundations these days, so please pray for me as I fight to lay down my will.

Something happened yesterday that I wanted to tell you all about.

I was sitting in the kitchen with Practicing His Presence, eating soup by myself, and listening to Sophia play Yanni on the piano in the other room. I was already looking inward, and when the music came I followed it to see where it would go. It flew past my thoughts, my feelings, and into a place so far inside me I hardly knew it beyond my intuition. It filled that space and I held it there, delighted with the fulfillment it brought.

Then a thought came, straight from heaven, I’m sure. That is MY space. Why are you filling it with something other than ME?

I almost groaned out loud as I saw in a flashing moment how I had filled this space with other things for years, as long as I could remember. Sometimes I let God in, and those times were the “God moments” that I treasured and searched for. Those were the times I felt Him near, and knew He wanted me to seek Him.

If I treasure those moments so much, why am I filling that space with other things, if only briefly? Why am I blocking Him from coming near enough to fill me completely?

Beautiful music is a vehicle that carries me to worship, opens my deepest places to God, but most of the time I let the vehicle take up all the space inside and lock the driver away.

I do this with many things: stories, romance, love, sexuality. I know the key isn’t to lock away everything that could push God away. I need to recognize why God created the deep-plunging vehicles in the first place. Why does music move us? Why does love make us whole? Why does sexuality make us come alive?

It’s not because they in themselves are enough.

If you, reader, are honest, you will know you sometimes fill that deep place, that sanctuary, with things other than God. We all do, all around the world. I think we should talk about it more, learn from each other how to protect the sanctuary. We have to save it, or God cannot wholly dwell in us. Enough of us have tasted the presence of God in the sanctuary to know it was made for Him.

Tell me what you think, below.